


How Can I Love When I'm Afraid To Fall?

by Mikaela_Jameson



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Hurt Magnus Bane, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Insecure Magnus Bane, Light Angst, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Protective Alec Lightwood, Suicide Attempt, Supportive Alec Lightwood, Supportive Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22264837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikaela_Jameson/pseuds/Mikaela_Jameson
Summary: Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it.- C. JoyBell C.Magnus and Alexander both have fears. One can't stand to think about the past, while the other fears the future.When these two meet, will there be sparks or tears? Love or pain? Would they even have the courage to try or they will be overcome by their fears?The future and the past meet in the present.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Kudos: 15





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I also posted this on Wattpad.  
> I'm not a native English speaker, so feel free to tell me if I did mistakes. I'm definitely not going to be upset and I'll correct them.

**Prologue**

_His mother was smiling, despite the impossible pain she was going trough. Magnus wasn't really sure it was a smile, though. It was hard to see through the tears that were fogging his view._

_He held her hand as they were waiting for the ambulance. He didn't call it for his stepfather, of course. Magnus was sure that he wasn't going to make it, anyway. He hoped so._

_No, Magnus called it for his mother. He believed she still got a chance to survive. A small chance, but a chance nonetheless._

_It was useless. But he didn't know that then._

_He started to hear the faraway sound of the ambulance..._

_Then his mother took her last, dying breath._

_She was gone._

_Magnus started to sob on the cold floor, alone._


	2. Where Two Worlds Collide

Alec was sitting in his usual place in the coffee shop. With a cup in one hand and a book in the other, he was quite content.

He started to come in this place every morning after Isabelle, his sister, brought him here to get him out of the house. He didn't expect the coffee to be so good, though. Now, it was both a way to please Izzy and to drink the best coffee in town.

Alec was rarely speaking to someone there. He wasn't comfortable approaching people and just talking to them and he was fine reading in peace, after all.

There was just one person he kind of wanted to talk to.

The man was sitting in the furthest corner of the room, as usual. He was always dressed fancy, his nails - as much as Alec could see - were painted, he had an silver ear cuff, he wore make-up and he had a red streak in his styled black hair.

Alec was pretty sure he was the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

He had to admit, he was curious about him. He wanted to talk to him. But the simple idea made Alec blush. The man seemed intimidating, despite being so isolated. He, like Alec, never spoke to anyone, just looked around the room.

Once or twice, when Alec felt brave enough to steal a glance towards him, their eyes met, and Alec blushed and looked away.

He sometimes wished he could be as bold as his sister. No, even better, as brave as his adoptive brother, Jace. For him, going to talk to Magnus would have been as easy as breathing. Even telling Maryse and Robert everything would have been easy for Jace.

He sighed, then took a sip of his coffee.

Then he almost choked on it.

The man he hoped he could talk to sat down in front of him like he had done that a thousand times before. He smiled, quite amused - probably at Alec's face.

"Hello, pretty boy."

"H-Hi", he stammered.

 _Stop_ _it_ _!_ He thought. _You're_ _like_ _a little_ _girl_ _with_ _her_ _crush_ _._

"How are you?"

"Oh, as good as I could possibly be", said the dashing man in front of him. "But thank you for asking, anyway."

Alec should have expected such unusual answers. He could have said 'fine', the standard answer.

"I saw you looking at me across the room", said Magnus.

When Alec didn't say anything (because he was too embarrassed to speak), Magnus spoke again.

"I am, in fact, quite handsome, so I don't really blame you. It must have been hard to keep your eyes away from me."

Alec was sure, by this point, that the man was mocking him. He wasn't going to take that.

"If you sat down here just to make fun of me..."

"Oh, not at all. I was going to ask you out."

Because of Magnus' amused expression, Alec knew his face showed the shock he felt inside. But, despite the dancing in his brown (which was a surprise) eyes, Alec also saw Magnus looked kind of guarded, like he was preparing himself for rejection. But, really, who could turn _him_ down?

When Magnus raised his eyebrows, Alec realized he didn't respond.

"Are you joking?"

"Of course not", he answered, looking offended. "Don't you think I have better things to do than to laugh at you? You caught my attention, blue-eyed beauty."

"Oh", was Alec's clever answer. "Oh", he repeated.

 _You're_ _acting_ _like_ _an idiot,_ he thought.

"Yeah, sure", he finally said.

He mentally patted himself on the back for not stuttering.

"'Yeah, sure,' what?" Asked Magnus.

"I'll go out with you", said Alec, blushing even harder.

Magnus blinked once, a bit surprised, before he regained his composure. An almost arrogant smile spread on his face.

"Perfect."

He took out his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Alec, who looked puzzled.

"Your phone number", Magnus demanded.

Alec quickly took it and put his number in it, then gave the phone back to Magnus.

"I'll call you", he said, winking, then he stood up and headed for the exit.

"Wait!" Alec called out after him.

Magnus turned around, confused.

"I don't even know your name."

"Magnus Bane. And you?"

"Alec Lightwood."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Is that short for something?"

"Yeah, Alexander, but nobody calls me that."

"Well, _Alexander_ ". He said his name like he was tasting it on his tongue. "I suppose I'll see you soon."

Without another word, Magnus left.

* * *

Breathing in deeply, 'the dashing man' was feeling tired.

Magnus loved Clary, his best friend, to pieces. He also knew Clary loved him and that she had good intentions when she made him do this.

And he really couldn't be upset on her when he saw Alexander up and close.

His sharp jawline, his messy black hair and oh, God, when he blushed, he was utterly adorable.

But the thing that fascinated Magnus the most were his eyes. Blue eyes, as blue as the clear sky in the summer. He never saw such eyes. They were mesmerizing.

Not like his own eyes...

Magnus shook his head. This was definitely not the time to have such thoughts.

He had to talk to Clary. And maybe thank her.


End file.
